Amazing post. I made a list like this after my 1st before my 2nd and it made such a positive difference for me. I found an amazing women's only ob group and the delivery was a million times better. Me and my husband invested in a postpartum doula to help rest the first few weeks. My mil & fil came for a month to help out with my older son and make us all food. And I decided I wasn't going to pump this time around. All those decisions were so right and made the 2nd postpartum so much better.
If we went for baby number 3 I'd keep my in laws around for 6 months instead of only 1 😂 and do everything else the same.
This is so great to hear! I would absolutely consider a postpartum doula next time too. I thought I could do it all last time. Next time, I will absolutely know different!
This is so raw and honest… especially the part about pregnancy being a “portal” and losing yourself a bit on the other side
The mental load piece hit hard. that silent project manager role builds up so much resentment and no one really talks about it openly
Also planning so much for birth but not for what comes after… i did the exact same thing. i thought if i just prepared enough, everything would fall into place, but postpartum had its own plans
And the part about not recognizing anxiety because it just felt like your normal state… that’s so real. it’s hard to name something when you’ve been sitting in it for so long
If i did it again, i’d definitely ask for help earlier too and lower expectations a lot more. just focus on getting through instead of trying to “do it right”
Great list ash! We need to plan before it gets crazy. Pregnant at the moment and this is a great prompt to get thinking and planning. Most people are just going with the flow on the second. My anxiety is worse in pregnancy this time, not great but it’s a symptom. I am building my supports now, I’m thinking of ways to ensure my mental health doesn’t drop to the floor, I have a therapist now so I’ll continue to see her or try to get into a postpartum service perhaps. I’ve already told my husband I expect nights to be shifts if this baby takes a bottle (my son didn’t). I’ll have my mil visiting to help. I’m starting my son in daycare. Even then? I expect stress. Maybe it’s over the top, but truly, if a new life enters the world, some other things need to come off our plate. This idea we should just stay calm backfires. It means the mum is caught off guard. We should be preparing!
Amazing post. I made a list like this after my 1st before my 2nd and it made such a positive difference for me. I found an amazing women's only ob group and the delivery was a million times better. Me and my husband invested in a postpartum doula to help rest the first few weeks. My mil & fil came for a month to help out with my older son and make us all food. And I decided I wasn't going to pump this time around. All those decisions were so right and made the 2nd postpartum so much better.
If we went for baby number 3 I'd keep my in laws around for 6 months instead of only 1 😂 and do everything else the same.
This is so great to hear! I would absolutely consider a postpartum doula next time too. I thought I could do it all last time. Next time, I will absolutely know different!
Thank you for this. We’re trying for our second and these are exactly the things I want to remind myself. Now we know better so we can do better.
This is so raw and honest… especially the part about pregnancy being a “portal” and losing yourself a bit on the other side
The mental load piece hit hard. that silent project manager role builds up so much resentment and no one really talks about it openly
Also planning so much for birth but not for what comes after… i did the exact same thing. i thought if i just prepared enough, everything would fall into place, but postpartum had its own plans
And the part about not recognizing anxiety because it just felt like your normal state… that’s so real. it’s hard to name something when you’ve been sitting in it for so long
If i did it again, i’d definitely ask for help earlier too and lower expectations a lot more. just focus on getting through instead of trying to “do it right”
This felt really validating to read 🤍
Great list ash! We need to plan before it gets crazy. Pregnant at the moment and this is a great prompt to get thinking and planning. Most people are just going with the flow on the second. My anxiety is worse in pregnancy this time, not great but it’s a symptom. I am building my supports now, I’m thinking of ways to ensure my mental health doesn’t drop to the floor, I have a therapist now so I’ll continue to see her or try to get into a postpartum service perhaps. I’ve already told my husband I expect nights to be shifts if this baby takes a bottle (my son didn’t). I’ll have my mil visiting to help. I’m starting my son in daycare. Even then? I expect stress. Maybe it’s over the top, but truly, if a new life enters the world, some other things need to come off our plate. This idea we should just stay calm backfires. It means the mum is caught off guard. We should be preparing!
I love this! And can really relate. 🤍
Thank you for sharing this. I’m terrified and we are trying for our first.